| Dear Mr. Premack: I recently
found out that my natural, biological father was "an old family friend"
whom I had not seen in 30 years. He is 86 years old has one living son, a
deceased son (both have children) and a stepdaughter whom he raised from
age 3. He is widowed. He looked for me for 10 years and his sister helped
him. We have built a wonderful relationship and he wants to leave me his
home and land and a little money and material goods. That scares me. We
talked about having a DNA test but he prefers not to have one saying he
knows I am his and that is all that counts. I am worried if he changes his
Will there will be a fight over his estate. Although I would love to have
what he wants to give me, I feel awkward at the same time. What is the
best thing for him to do? I don't want to look greedy, yet I do not want
to go against his wishes either. - Once Unclaimed Child You may be
asking how this man could legally recognize you as his child. Technically,
he could have acknowledged you as his child near the time of your birth,
but that would have required that 1) he and your mother sign and file an
acknowledgment, and 2) your mother’s husband at the time of your birth
sign and file a denial that he is your father. It is clearly too late for
that process to be used.
In the absence of that process, this "old family friend" is not
recognized as your legal father unless he goes to court to establish
paternity. His belief that he is your father has no legal effect. To
obtain a court decree, he would file a suit in District Court, and the
court could (and likely would) order genetic testing. Since he refuses to
undergo a DNA test, the legal issue of paternity is not at all settled.
What is your position if you are recognized as his legal child? As his
natural child, you are one of his heirs at law – that is, you are a person
who might inherit part of his estate if he dies intestate (without a
Will). But if he does make a Will, he can include you or can leave you
out, just as any parent could.
Conversely, what is your position if you are NOT recognized as his
legal child? He still has the right to declare in his Will that he wants
to give some property to you. He could even give it to his next-door
neighbor if he wanted to.
So the issue of whether he is or is not your father has no bearing on
whether he can legally name you as an heir. The true issue is whether his
intention to name you in his Will is going to standup to the challenge
that could come from his acknowledged children.
To prepare for that, he must take very careful legal steps. He must
prepare a Will that is drafted by an experienced attorney. The attorney
may want to lay the groundwork for the Will’s validity by having a doctor
examine him to certify his capacity. Then he should start a political
campaign with his children by informing them of his new Will, telling them
of its contents, and discussing their opinions with them. Although it may
be difficult, if his children are fully informed while he is alive, they
are far less likely to bring a legal challenge at the time of his death.
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